Pet, Peeved/Transcript
Roxie: Hey, Jade! Do you know what today is? Jade: Today is my full-body grooming day. Today is a day I like to be left alone... Today is like every other day. Roxie: Left alone. Gotcha! ...Jade! Jade: Huh? Roxie: Jade, come quick! Today is also the one-week anniversary of you letting me be your roommate, so I wanted to do something nice for you to say thanks. So, I got you a cake! It's a Roxie-and-Jade-shaped cake! And you're poking it, and now you're kind of pushing it... Right up to the edge, there...? Huh? And now it's on the floor. Transition Mr. Yut: Hmm. Roxie: Huh? Mr. Yut: Something must be bothering you. You haven't touched your food. Roxie: Oh, gosh, you're right! Munching Burp Oops. Mr. Yut: So, something isn't bothering you. Roxie: Oh, something's bothering me. I keep trying to do nice things for Jade to say, "Thanks, I love being your roommate!" But nothing seems to work... How do I get her something she'll like? Mr. Yut: Ah, I see what's happening here. I sounded like I was interested in your problem! My mistake. Gotta go. Roxie: Sighs Gladys: Trouble at home? Yamua: You wanna make somepet happy? There's nothing like a big thing o' honey. You put that on anything, turns a rainy day sunny! Gladys: And jam, plum jam. Yamua: No, strawberry jam on a sesame cracker. Roxie: Gasps I'll make her a snack! Who doesn't like that? Transition Jade: Yawns Mm. Roxie: Incoming snack attack! Grunts Whimpers Jade: Growls Roxie: I'll just...go. Transition Pearl: Somepet made a mess outta you. Roxie: Sighs I made a mess out of me. I make a mess out of everything. All I wanna do is get Jade the perfect gift to show her how much I love being her roommate. Pearl: Jade Catkin? Hm. I don't know her so good, but I don't know any pet who doesn't love the soundtrack album from Cats A-Poppin'. Roxie: Ah, show tunes! Transition Cats A-Poppin' Music Jade: Whoa! Huh? Roxie: Whimpers Oh... Transition Quincy: Grunting Roxie: Gasp Trip: My paw-fu is mightier than yours, ghost lizard! Quincy: Grunts Take that, frog monster. Roxie: Hey, guys! Quincy: Screams Groans Trip: He can fight frog monsters, but "hello" makes him faint. What's up? Roxie: I'm trying to do something nice for Jade 'cause I'm so happy that we're roommates, but everything I try backfires. Trip: Three words: Inflatable frog monster. Roxie: Fourth word: Huh? Trip: They make inflatable punching bag versions of the monsters in this video game. Any time Jade gets frustrated, she can just pound on the frog. cries Totally beats discussing your feelings, and it's great cardio and totally cool. And if anyone knows cool, haha, it's me and Quincy! We'll hook you up. Roxie: Awesome, thanks! Quincy: I'm back. Did I miss anything? Trip: cries Oof! Oww! Quincy: Whoa, this V.R. stuff almost feels real! Transition Edie: Oh! Hmm. Gasps Unnamed walrus: I don't enjoy being spoofed, thank you very much. Edie: Hmm. Roxie! Roxie: Gasps Edie: What brings you to the park today? Roxie: Oh, I- Edie: Speaking of "I," I've decided this is the prime spot for pet-watching. So many things I can bring to my acting. I'm filled with so much theatrical rapture, I could explode! Roxie: Please don't, I value our friendship. Edie: What can Edie do for you? Roxie: I'm trying to do something nice for Jade. No matter what I do, I can't seem to make her happy. Edie: Validate her presence in the scene, make her feel that she's being heard and that you understand what she's saying. Roxie: I don't understand what you're saying. Edie: If she's having a bad day, express sympathy. "Oh, Jade, you have a hairball? Oh, that's too bad!" If she makes one of her trademark snarky jokes, laugh at it. Laughs If she- Roxie: If she's mad because somehow or other, I chewed up the purple pillow off the sofa and threw up in the corner, I say, "Gasps I'm sorry, I'll put it back together!" Edie: ...Ish...? Just make it clear you understand her concerns. And if pillows upset your tummy, darling, don't eat them. Roxie: Hah! "Don't eat pillows." Hah, good one! Thanks! Transition Jade: Coughs Ack! Downside of grooming: Tongue hair. Trip: Jade, you here? Jade: Litter box. Trip: Roxie wants us to leave this for you. Knock yourself out! Heh, "knock yourself out..." Quincy: Laughs Trip: You're welcome! Jade: Hm? Inflatable frog monster: Ribbit. Transition Bev: Glitterate! Roxie: Bev, I need some advice. Bev: Chew your food carefully, exercise every day, don't get glue in your glitter. Roxie: More like personal advice. Bev: 'Kay, always happy to multi-task... You talk, I'll glitterate. Roxie: I really wanna do something that will make Jade happy. Trip says, "Inflatable frog monster," and Edie says, "validate and respond!" I was hoping...you'd have some ideas, too? Bev: Easy! Scented candle, bayberry. Promotes tranquility. I know a rottweiler who can make you one. Roxie: Thanks, Bev! Transition Roxie: Hi, Jadie-Lady! How's the full body grooming day going? Jade: Mm, taking a little longer than I thought. I had to deal with a hairball bigger than my head. Roxie: Oh, no! That's terrible! I validate your tragedy. Whispering I'm here for you, no matter what. Jade: Whoa, whoa, wh- Not that big a deal, just a curve ball from a hairball. Roxie: Guffaws Curve ball! One of your trademark jokes! Laughs Wanna take a turn? Cackles Inflatable frog monster: Ribbit. Jade: I... want to throw a net over you. You are losing it. Roxie: No, I'm not! grunt I'm tranquil! Smell that bayberry tranquility! Sniff Mm- detector beeping Roxie: laughter Jade: Hmm. Roxie: Ugh, no, this isn't right! Jade, I- Jade: Nope. Roxie: Maybe I should- Jade: Nope. Roxie: Or I could- Jade: Nope. Roxie: ...I'll just go to my room. Transition Pearl: So, how many times have ya listened to the Cats A-Poppin' soundtrack? Jade: Lemme think. Zero. Pearl: Ugh, but I told Roxie to get it for ya! She's goin' all over, every which where, tryin' to do something nice to please ya. Jade: That's why she's been so weird all day? Ugh, that dog never stops. Why would she think I'm not pleased? Pearl: Beats me. Maybe you should ask her. Jade: Hmm... Transition Roxie: Thanks for bringing your crew on short notice, Shamrock. I soaked the place, the least I can do it get it dried out. Shamrock: No problem, Miss. Okay, boys, next cleanup is on the LPS Cruise Ship. Sounds like the sloth party got a little out of hand. Unnamed parrot: Again? Ah, those sloths. We can't keep up with 'em! Roxie: Sorry, Jade. Just getting everything dry. Jade: Yeah, I see! I got you something. Giggles Roxie: You got me a cake? Jade: The cake's not the present. This is the present: "A Roxie-and-Jade cake? That's incredible! What a thoughtful gesture!" That's what I should have said this morning, instead of... Roxie: Knocking the cake on the floor? Jade: I'm a cat - just because I knock a thing off a counter doesn't mean I don't like it. Roxie: What? Really? Jade: I should've let you know that I thought the cake was cool. All the stuff you do for me is cool! Except the purple pillow thing, I still smell that in my sleep. Roxie: Wow... So destroying the cake and walking away was your way of saying you liked it! Jade: Exactly. For a cat, pushing a cake off a counter is as good a feeling as a dog gets eating it. Roxie: Whoa-hoho, cats are interesting. Jade: We're different, but that's cool. I guess we're still learning about each other. Roxie: Hah! Fun fact: If I don't hear "Good girl, Roxie!" 20 times a day, I chew the fur off my bottom. Jade: Uh... Some things should remain a mystery. Roxie: Hah, I like my present. Can I eat it now? Jade: Go to town! Are you gonna use that, or...? Roxie: Go to town! Munching Slurping Category:Transcripts Category:Season 1 transcripts